The Power Of Habit
In 2012 Charles Duhigg wrote an amazing book, The Power Of Habit. It was a game-changer for me, not only for the practical, do-able insights that he revealed, but for the perspective shift it was for me. We are 3 weeks into 2020, and how’s it going on your well-intentioned resolutions? I know a few people who have resolved to never make any more New Years resolutions, because… we just don’t have enough resolve to make them stick!
Just a confession to make here – I’m NOT a disciplined person, by nature, but I am somewhat competitive. It took me a looooooong time to muster up enough willpower to establish some of the most basic spiritual disciplines that it seemed, came much easier to others. I have often preferred being “original” over getting stuck in a rut! Even the word “discipline” has never been that appealing to me. Not long after college, though, I met more and more friends who challenged me, not so much directly, but indirectly by what I could observe from their lives. They had purpose, and drive and I was able to see results in their lives that I wanted for myself, but had always seemed to be just beyond my grasp. They had established habits that I had resisted and were reaping the benefits.
Then Larry, my roommate at the time, nailed me. One morning he had a verse (from the Bible) for me, and like most of the verses he would throw out, I was assuming this was an inspiring promise or an affirming nugget of wisdom. Proverbs 13:4 says, “The sluggard desires and has nothing, but the soul of the diligent will be made fat (fat, being a very good thing!).” After it sunk in which part of the verse he meant for me, my competitive pride set out on a journey to find discipline and diligence.
Back to Charles Duhigg… reorienting my perspective so that discipline is the slow and steady formation of habits, made discipline seem much more manageable. Everybody lives by habits, many of which we don’t even think of as habits, which is the point! Habits are curious things. Duhigg pointed out that 40-45% of daily decisions we make are our automatic habitual responses. They become a part of us to the point that we no longer have to think about whether we will or won’t do certain activities. Some of these habits lead us to toward a desirable future. Others are the roadblocks that keep us stuck, disappointed or angry.
One key takeaway for me, and for us, who want to chart a different course as we move forward into 2020, is the dynamic cycle of cue, response/routine, and reward. One of my barriers has been my love/hate relationship with routine. The key as it turns out, in building new habits is not the focus on the routine, but on the cue and the reward. Creating a “rewarding” reward, or remembering the bigger “yes” I hope to accomplish is a motivator on the back end. But just as important, becoming aware of the cue that triggers my bad habit, or creating a positive cue to kickstart my new habit, is where the cycle begins. So as we long to build better discipline, habits become the bite-sized chunks of progress. What’s the cue you need that takes you on the straightest path to the reward you desire? Don’t give up too quickly! After a few years of working through this cycle, I am thankful for the changes that have come slowly, but now are reaping benefits that I am enjoying without hardly even thinking about anymore!
